my literature

Below is a whole slew of crap I wrote; it's seperated by grade level... Enjoy.

Joliet Junior College

Most of this is bad, because it was for a class or something. This means, amongst other things, a general apathy, leaving it to the last minute possible, and completing any amount of writing necessary in 30 minutes or less. If they can make and deliver a pizza in that amount of time, obviously I can write a paper that quickly as well... albeit the pizza is still a bit more tangable.

A Rose for Emily - While reading the story, I thought of a unique angle I could take on the story. I think this paper is one of my better ones that I've written for credit. Still, however, crap.

High Fidelity - something about the book, or the other.

She's An Angel - analysis of the song "She's An Angel" by They Might Be Giants. Very good song, very interesting meanings, very bad essay.

Death in Harry Potter - my term paper for English 102. If it really, really helps you, feel free to steal it. But send me money. Oh. It's bad.

High School

My Skit - A interesting skit with a Drug Free message. Written for a local Anti-Drug Skit Club called Target. It's better if you get Microsoft Word DOC File. It provides both a serious message with humor to keep the interest of kids. Written for junior high age groups, can be modified for use to any ages.

How To Lead A Small Group - A serious and silly look at how to be a leader of a small group. This was written specifically for Snowball conferences, but will work well if you ever need to lead a group. This particular item is in both categories because it's a little bit of both. Microsoft Word DOC File.

Hiding - A story I wrote for a Sophomore English assignment, a very chilling masterpiece about the death of my Aunt and the unknowns of death to a child. The question still remains; who is hiding, me, or the adults? I consider this professional because, to this day, it is one of my best pieces of writing.

Bubbles the Cat and His Dog Meow: Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 - A "series" I made my Freshman year of high school, starts a satanic cat and his dog, whom he named Meow. Truly unique.

The Spam Drama Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Act 4. This unique drama has a couple of elements from Julius Caesar. It's very odd, very warped, and now that I read it again very stupid. Oh well, it made people laugh freshman year, so, well, maybe you freshmen will like it. It has been responsible for the Keebler Elf Syndrome (AKA rambunctious laughing during Biology class), so be warned. There are acts 1 - 5, ?, Potatoe, and 83.59; total of 8 acts.

The NEW Spam Drama Preface. This was created after, for some reason, every copy of The Spam Drama was lost (but later found). It is completely different, but the same wackiness remains. For all you mythology lovers out there, one act even has some fake gods in it! (We were studying them in English class, which is when I wrote my Drama). This Drama has a total of 5 acts (plus a preface), but for some reason the end of act 5 says "End of Act One." Does not include references to Dan Quayle.

The Cow - A quite unique take on The Raven about a cow. Written in my Freshman year of High School...

The Story of Why I Love Cows - A unique story starring the Power Rangers and a bunch of evil cows. From my Sophomore year, I believe.

Wine to Water - I wrote this... And it frightens me.

Stalker - a blast from my freshman year!

End of All Hope - a short poem on society's failures.

Quotes - A compilation of quotes that I like. Inspirational and interesting, can be used as a handout at conferences or the such. They're what is randomized at the top of the screen.

The War Prayer, By Mark Twain - One of my favorite works of all time. It's not too long, either.

How To Interpret Women - not by me, but definately necessary.

Nice Pants! - Not by me... A mixed up love story that could very well happen to you...

Hulkamaniac? - Just when you thought it was safe to listen to the radio, Hulk Hogan writes a rap. Seriously. Off of his honest-to-God debut album, these are the lyrics! NOT BY ME!

Junior High

Loony Larry and the Spirit's Cup - Lordy, this little tidbit from a 6th grade assignment is quite interesting. It's a radio play baised heavily on my all-time favorite TV show, Perfect Strangers. If anyone had ANY doubt, this proves I had mental problems as a youth. Also, I think, somewhere in the abyss I call my room, I still have the audio cassette tape I released of me doing the voice acting for this radio play.

Grades 1-5

The Day After The Year 3000 - I just finished typing this blast from fifth grade up, and I realized something. I have some severe problems. A couple words of this story (mostly names of valves or levers) were slightly illegible, so I compromized accuracy for my sanity in a couple of instances. Damn this story is disturbing to me.

The Big Ugly Green Monster From Tokyo - A very old story of mine about a mythical, Japanese beast... A little strange if I do say so myself.

Moo The Greedy Cow - A myth with a moral, this is the story of Moo and his downfall.

Why Guinea Pigs Don't Have Tails - A very old story of mine about why Guinea Pigs don't have tails. Complete with anti-polution moral!