OK so I probably shouldn’t post this because I am about to start working there, but I think I have proof Google is trying to take over the internetings.

First, they buy all this “dark fiber.” Dark fiber is – for those of you that are not nerds – something that helps you poop. From what I understand. It also can help you lower your cholesterol. This purchase was made because most people on the Internet are unhealthy.

Second, they buy YouTube. Now, this may appear like nothing to the average person. But you may not be aware, the internet is a series of tubes! Perhaps even YOUtubes.