So one of two things is true:

1) Any movie by M. Night Shyamalan is predictable and formulaic.

Or

2) I am some actually M. Night Shyamalan and hence know the plots of all of his movies before seeing them.

Wait, #2 can’t be right because if I ever wrote a movie I wouldn’t be so pretentious as to put myself in it, even though I can’t act. Nor would I ever insist upon being called M. Night Anythingalan. Well, I might have in high school, if I had thought of it.

Anyway, on my way to Washington – where, apparently, I now live – Alaskan Airlines offered a small little digital video player you could use during the flight. Since it’s a 4 hour flight, I figured it was worth it. It is actually pretty neat, it’s about the size of a portable DVD player but has about 5 movies and a bunch of TV and music on it — all encoded in DiVX according to one of the notices on the back. (One other thing it had on it – a consistent misuse of it’s on the label).

I started out watching “The Village.” At this point I will tell you how to determine the end of absolutely any M. Night movie – the first thing to happen will actually be relevant to the ending (imagine that!). For example, in Sixth Sense, a guy gets shot. Hey, maybe he’s dead. Or some weird kid sips cups of water and leaves them all over the place. Maybe they’ll kill the aliens.

Or if some pretentious idiot who Hollywood seems to throw money at films a movie filmed in “olde Pennsylvania” yet NOTHING looks old and the language is forced at best… hey, maybe there’s something to that.

Since if I don’t stop now I’ll start pointing out some other idiotic notions of the movie, I’m going to move on.

Saturday Night Live is stupid. I believe I just spent 5 minutes watching a sketch that basically had the premise “the sound leather clothing makes is funny.” It reminds me of Garfield – clearly whoever is behind it has gone brain dead, but it’s just been around so long nobody wants to point out that the guy’s lower brain has stopped functioning.

So off of rant mode, I noticed something – sometimes the funniest joke is the one you’ll see coming. And not only that, you’ll laugh before they even tell the joke because you know it’s coming and you know it’s going to be funny.

I noticed this while watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Master Shake was saying something along the lines of “at least we still have power and each other.” The power goes out, and it’s obvious what the next line is going to be, but the delivery was so perfect.

Well, maybe not as funny as the noise leather makes! Wow!