Lessons learned from watching PBS’ children’s show, Boohbah:

1) The voices will tell you what to do
2) Eat food you find in the park, even if it is floating
3) Animals are subservient to your every need and desire
4) It’s ok, when you’re older, to cheat on your spouse to create a more diverse family

LIST MUST PAUSE FOR GOOFY TALENT SHOW FOR CHILDREN WITHOUT TALENTS

5) PCP or acid are good ways to simulate the entertainment of television
6) Shout the name of whatever you see as loud as you can, and it will dance for you