Christmas delight started early this year; the plans have always been to spend Christmas in North Carolina with my sister, because she can’t fly due to pregnancy. So it wasn’t Christmasy at the house… but my mother managed to get into the spirt of things anyway.

She saw an infomercial on the following product:

Bible Songs 4 Kids. She decided she wanted it — for herself, if that isn’t obvious. So she calls the 800 number on the television and upon being connected is, apparently, asked what product she wants.

“The one on the TV right now.”

“What do you mean? I want the product on the TV right now, you should know what it is.”

My mother’s attitude raising, I tried to help out by saying “Bible Songs 4 Kids.” OK — that solved one problem. Although at this point I believe my mother pointed out to me the lady on the phone was stupid if she doesn’t even know what they’re selling.

So at some point — I’m not entirely sure why — my mother gets a guilty look on her face then, slowly, blurts out to the lady she wants the product as a gift (a lie). Not sure how that comes up, but then my mom starts asking the lady where she’s from (India, no surprise).

The deal is almost set, but on a whim my mother asks when her credit card will be charged.

Apparently this is information that the representative is not allowed to give out; she’d have to call up customer service for that top-secret information.

This — almost — destroies the deal. It was just about to fall apart when the saleslady just lies to my mom and says she’s billed right away. OK, good, the order is placed. Christmas cheer spreads here and in India thanks to both my mom and the saleslady’s wonderful, super moods.