Let’s try to sumarize my past week or so.

First was Cedar Point. Through a gift of providence I did not have to drive there. Although a negative to this was it seemed nobody had an overly enjoyable drive (I make cars fun) and Shane forced me to listen to bad music.

Cedar Point itself was uneventful. We stayed on-site so we could (1) split up [bad idea] and (2) go into park early [never quite worked out for us].

I’ll start out explaining #1. More time was spent deciding who was going where and waiting to rendeverous than was saved by splitting up to do things seperately. In my opinion, at least. It was just a hassle getting groups setup and such. Perhaps it was benificial to others.

#2 was pointless. We stupidly kept getting in line for the Top Thrill Dragster, their newest ride, but it would always be broken down. So we’d lose our ‘head start’ and get in line for something else with the rest of the plebians who didn’t have to pay extra for their hotel to get in early.

It seemed like this year I got a lot less riding done in total. A lot more walking somewhere, someone saying something, going somewhere else, then someone getting pissed off. Oh, then some more walking. Can’t forget the aimless walking.

I’m glad that I’d been there before, the randomness didn’t bother me too much, and I also got to spend some time at the water park working on my tan.

Here’s a picture that summarizes the vacation. Or at least that startled me because I have no idea what Lauren is doing.

On the way back from el point de cedar we passed by this car with two girls who had a sign soliciting honks from cars.

Well, for some reason they decided we looked like hunks so they made a sign with their phone number. I’m not sure who decided to call, but I think it was me that they convinced it was a good idea to pull off with them at a rest area. I think the only simple reason I had to was they explained they were on a road trip to Seattle, at the end of which they were flying back home. Added to the oddness was I was doing the exact opposite of this curious traveling scheme later that day and I was piqued. Here’s a picture of those wonderfully random people and our carload of circus freaks.

Moving on.

The road trip has far more interesting stories associated with it.

First, my brother’s wonderful security incident outlined below. Then being paged. Then the mean plane lady.

But beyond that, Jim took roughly 16 hours after we got there to pack. We got on the road late because of this, my brother locking his keys inside the apartment (nooo, he couldn’t lock them in the car like a normal person), and stoping at Best Buy, the only stop partly my fault. All told we left about 12 hours late.

This meant driving and driving and driving on through the night. We only got one night of normal sleep, the rest was a bit of a blur.

But some entertaining stuff did happen on the way back; first and foremost was our run-in with a gay hotel selling shirts that proudly proclaimed “I Survived Camp Diva.” Diva shirts – $10. Seriously, though, I thought gays had higher standards for hotels, and also were neat. I was obviously very wrong.

Even the drive INTO yellowstone was amazing. Just outside we took some pictures by a stream on the side of the road.

You just know a place is amazing if even the side of a road is beautiful. Probably, I should add, better looking than anything I’ve ever seen in the midwest. Yeah, and that was just the roadside.

So then we’re driving down the road and HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE THOSE HORSES DOING? I attempted to portray some of the surprise we had as random, free, wild horses decided they deserved use of the highway system as well. Yep, a traffic jam caused by horses.

Inside Yellowstone we stopped first at these geo-thermal water spots.

This is approximately the time that I wondered why anyone would ever live anywhere else. Not only is the nature there pretty, but it’s amazing as well. The geo-thermals are just strange. Bewildering. Astounding. Water boils and bubbles up on its own free will, giving off some amazing sound effects while doing so. A choice picture.

Then it got dark. We hit Old Faithful, but it was kind of dark and hard to see. It still was rather neat. My brother decided to order ice cream from a nearby polish guy.

25 minutes later he had the ice cream, had annoyed a girl behind him roughly to the point of homicide, and I received a complement on our stylish yellow ponchos. Oh, yeah, and reinforcements needed to be called for his ice cream — it took two polish guys to make the cone.

There’s a joke in there somewhere, probably.

I think the last thing the guy said to us was to my brother — you are a funny man!

Driving through Yellowstone at night was possibly the most dangerous and frightening thing I’ve ever done.

First of all, you’ll drive right next to a 300 foot dropoff (straight down or, sometimes, into water). It’s pitch black, blacker than most people ever get to see, there’s no shoulder, and no guard rail. You move a bit too far over and you’re dead, no question.

Second, the animals there think the road is theirs. We’re driving along and we notice something in the other lane passing us.

It was a bison.

After that we hit Rushmore, nothing much to say there… the movie was better, I guess.

I survived camp diva.