THE NEW SPAM DRAMA
                               by Jim Reardon

Preface: An epic hemoroid in the rearend of life.

        That it definately was - you know what I'm talking about - the loss
of every copy of the classic spam drama.  And no laser treatment either - you
don't have insurance.  It will bug you to sit down for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

        Most of the characters are changed.  The following are a preliminary
cast of main rolls and actors:

        President Joe           : Montel Williams
        Bob                     : Sean Grady
        Amy                     : Bob the Former Chicken
        Presidente Amouretti    : James Earl Jones
        Bubbles The Cat         : Himself
        Meow                    : Himself
        JaceYBOb                : Bruce Willis

Character Information:

        PRESiDENT JOE - The president of SpAM Artificial Luncheon Meat Land.  A kind, caring, talkshow host.

        BoB - "God" of the church for the Emotionally Deprived Mimes.  Sells
        the best cheese in SpAM Artificial Luncheon Meat Land.

        Amy - Head conspiritor, mean lady.  Doubles as the owner of "kiss 'em
        and watch 'em die," the best professional killing agency in SpAM land,
        except that you have to kiss the person you want to die.

        Jaceybob - The group of professional monks that don't shave every full
        moon named "John Paul Gresely."

        Presidente Amourette - Often misspelled name, and dies early in the
        play.

        Bubbles The Cat - A psychotic cat.  Pretty neat guy not to know.

        Meow - Often the victim of Bubbles' extroversial signs of need of
        covnciling, and overall a great cheese lover.

        Remember - more people will be introduced over time...  Keep track
        on your own "TNSD Tally Card."  See how many mistakes I make!

                ONLY $1.00!

                ! NO TAX !

                ! AYE CALUSNIA!

Sponsor Corner:

        Spam: Not real meat, not to be internally ingested.  No saccharin!

        NIK: Shoes for Spam.

        Snupple Ice Teas.

        Advertise here!  $100 per 5 years.