The Spam Drama
                          Conspired By Jim Reardon

                                   ACT II
                                   ------

Scene One: The budweiser factory.  Spuds MacEnzie is sitting, drunk, and
possibly dead, on top of a beer keg.  KEGGER KEGGER KEGGER!!!

Spuds: Hickpu!

Amy: What am I doing here?

Brutus: Forith I have never lovedith Caesar so much as to...

Amy: Oops.  Wrong tragedy.. .

Scene Two: The president plays with matches.

President Joe: America, being in the biggest slump ever, and having a rural
population of 100000 and a urban of zero, this really sucks.

Presidentettiete! Amorieute!: Ceienta y cuarenta y muy muy muy contentamos!

Amy: I've been hired to kill a mister Presidentettiete! Amorieute!.. .
Any takers?

<Amy takes Presidentettiete! Amourieute! off, we hear a bang, and he's most
likely dead.. .  But as far as goat songs go, you never know.. .>

<President Joe takes out a book of matches, lights one, then sets the whole
book on fire.  Being to hot to handle, he drops them, setting the desk on
fire.  It spreads, he escapes, yeah yeah yeah, big deal>

Scene Three: Chuck and Bob, what happened to them?  They are walking to a
small bar, and strange things are happening.  It's the ides of January.

Close enough.

Bob: Tis the ides of January!  Whatever shall I doith!

Chuck: I'm like.. .  Confused.

Bob: I know.  So am I.  Just follow the script and you get a cookie.  It's
better than donating blood.

<Dan Quayle Enters>

Quayle: Coo!  Coo!  Coo!

<Quayle Exits>

Chuck: What sound does a Quayle really make anyway?

Bob: I think 'duh,' but I could be wrong.

Chuck: I think you're right.  Bit I could be wrong, and then you would be,
too.  That would suck.

Bob: Let us be gone, we mustith joinith the conspiracy to killith President
whatz-hiz-name.

Chuck: It is done.